The Absentee Blogger

Not promising anything regular by way of posting, but just a quick note...yes, I'm still around.  I've become a very good 'net lurker these days, and a pretty bad blogger overall.  Several reasons:

- I haven't had much to blog about that is interesting and positive.  I went through some major upheaval and changes in my life when we sold Beamer and the trailer several months ago.  Long story short:

Dear Economy,
You suck,
No Love,
Ash

Beamer went to what we feel is a great home where he will be able to continue his endurance career in a way we currently aren't able to do.  Horse and trailer actually went to the same place, so Beamer gets a little bit of home and familiarity with him.

- Consequently, I've been in a sulking funk most of the summer, and have ridden Mimi maybe half a dozen times, and only one of those times on a proper trail ride.  I hate not having a trailer, and I really hate bumming rides off people, because then I feel obligated to ride with them in a style that is very much not my own.  I'm a control freak with a healthy dose of Slavic guilt complex.  Means I'm sort of a pain to deal with in these kind of situations.  So I feel somewhat like a neglectful pony mom...but I'm still going down to the barn and keeping up on her feet (ironically, they look the best they've ever looked now...I have all of the flare completely gone), she still gets her regular supplements, and she's turned out with the herd in the 3+ acre big pasture for close to 14 hours a day.

- I don't like whining too much on my blog.  I tend to approach much of my "public" life with a "If you can't say something nice, don't say it" mentality.  I figure that most people have enough of their own problems, concerns, and drama to deal with.  They don't necessarily need to be hearing all of mine heaped on them as well.  Couple that with the fact I try to be an optimist (boy, is that getting put to the test this summer), and I just haven't felt a whole lot like blogging this summer.  Each post would have essentially looked the same: "Went to the barn.  Trimmed feet.  *insert photos here*  Rode around the arena.  Wilted in the heat.  Gave pony a bath.  Went home and hugged air conditioning."  Lather, rinse, repeat.

And just a quick life update:

- I took the summer off of school.  I needed the break, mentally.  And I noticed that I suffered fewer nervous breakdowns and stress headaches over the last few months.  And I still have plenty to be stressed about.  That lead me to the conclusion that, when the fall semester starts up this coming Monday, I don't believe I will be sitting in that classroom.  At this point in my life, I don't know if court reporting is for me.  Yes, I put a lot of time and effort into it...yes, it seems a shame to quit now.  But I don't feel like incurring further student loans debts while I figure out whether I want to continue this or not.  Maybe I'll come back to it.  Maybe I'll figure out something to do within the field that isn't the level of a certified reporter.  There are options, so the past four years isn't a total waste.  But right now, mentally, I don't have it in me to throw more of myself into that program.  If it hasn't happened by now, I don't know if it ever really will.  And I don't want to give up more of my life trying to figure that out.

- I did find a new hobby/time-occupier over the summer: I'm learning to play the guitar.  At the moment, I'm self taught, since lessons take money.  But there are a lot of videos on youtube that are fabulous resources, and I'm slowly learning.  Turns out I do have an ear for music, after years of wondering if I was tone-deaf.  Not tone-deaf...just untrained.  I still don't know what I'm doing, but I know when something sounds right or not.  And I'm definitely leaning towards a more countryish flavor with some of the tunes I'm managing to pick out.  Not like that's a surprise with a guitar, but whatever.  I've sort of come full circle with music...growing up around barns and horses, I was always a country girl.  Expanded my music listening repertoire in high school and especially college, but have recently re-embraced the country thing, especially some of the newer, up-and-coming artists that are more than just traditional country.  (My new favorite artist of pretty much any music genre is Christian Kane -- he does a great blend of rock and country with a ton of energy, great vocals, and he writes most of his own material.)

- It's summer in Arizona.  It's hot.  That mitigates some of my lack-of-riding guilt factor.  And makes it really easy to, while giving Pony a bath, turn the hose around on myself.  Long hair holds water for the next couple of hours and keeps your head cool. 

So, anyway...if you stuck with me for this long, my hat's off to you.  I can't promise regular updates, but I will say this: At least I have an interest in blogging again, and reading other's blogs.  For a couple of months, I was completely incommunicado and not even looking at blogs.  So this is a step in the right direction.